“Receive the call and tell my boss that papa isn’t at home” or “don’t tell mum that I was smoking”……words spoken by parents intentionally or unintentionally have a devastating effect on children. Home is the first school of a child where the child learns the basics of leading a respectful life. Our children learn through imitating us. We are their role models. Whatever they do, or become, we as parents, are greatly responsible for their behavior. It is for this reason that we should act consciously for our behavior might negatively influence our children and determine who they become.
“Say I’m not well”……we yell to our spouses or our children when a phone rings. Although we don’t do it intentionally, but we cannot even imagine its devastating effect on our children. We, being parents, set a bad example in front of our children and consequently our children start lying because they believe “it’s okay to lie, mom and dad do it every time”. Are we really being good parents as Allah (swt) wants us to be? Islam, views lying as a serious vice. It is a sign of Hypocrisy. Allah says in the Qur’an “And do not say that of which you have no knowledge.” (Qur’an 17:36).
We should never make false promises to our children, this is also a lie! Let me give you an example to make you understand better. Many a times, we tell our children, “If you complete your meal on time then you’ll get an ice-cream”, and when the child does as said, we step back from what we promised! By doing this, we lose confidence of our children and they will not believe us from the next time and eventually will not listen to us too.
Another thing that we often do as parents is argue and fight in front of the children. No matter how angry we are or how badly wronged we feel we are, we should maintain our calm and avoid yelling at each other in front of our children. This will tear them apart emotionally.
We might not agree with our spouse over one thing or another but it is no use demonizing him or her in front of the children. We find many parents complaining bitterly about their spouse to their children in the absence of the other party. Whilst this might seem the right thing to do for the wronged spouse, the truth of the matter is, it is not.
You will not solve anything by telling your children that their father or mother is hopeless, terrible etc in fact, you will emotionally torment your children. They will lose their sense of security. Children need a home where both mother and child are happy, a home where their parents display the feeling of togetherness.
If ever you have to argue or talk to each other about any nasty incident, make sure you do that in the absence of your children. Do that privately and make sure you show smiling faces to your children so that you do not disturb them.
Children who grow up listening to kind words will grow up to be very compassionate adults. Children who grow up listening to harsh and rude words will grow up to be very hard hearted adults who know no compassion for anyone.
We should never make fun of others in front of our children. We should never watch bad television programs or movies in front of the children, it breaks down their morality and they lose respect for us. Rather Islamic channels increase their knowledge as well as Imaan and help them to become good human being
We, as Muslims should try to be the best parents to our children. Our children is the future of this Ummah and of this country, we should mould our children in such a way that they bring honor to us. Raising kids is an incredible responsibility. As human beings, we will at times do wrong and make mistakes but please, NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!
Author:Maria Kibtia
Source:Passion Writers
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